Some have said that a good indicator of what you love is where you spend your time or what you spend your money on.  I would also add that what or who you expend your love towards would be another indicator of true north on your compass in life. 

I awoke this morning a little more free than yesterday.  As a 37 years young man, I have traveled an elliptical pattern throughout my working life which as a business person started around 8 or 9 years old and as a worker at 16.  As a boy, I sold greeting cards, magazine subscriptions, had a paper route, and did quite a bit of recycling.  It is funny to think that I was recycling 30 years  ago.  I actually started recycling as the result of a contest our school was holding in 3rd grade.

The contest awarded two winners:  individual that collected the most newspaper and the class in the school which collected the most paper.  The individual winner received a BMX bicycle.  I did not collect much newspaper.  The contest was won by my friend Kenny Jans who lived up the street.  His class also won the class competition.  When the competition was over, Kenny never recycled another paper and I did.

I was excited about recycling.  I would go around the neighborhood and introduce myself to my neighbors and ask if they had any paper, bottles or aluminium cans.  Some folks would even save these things for me.  On the weekends I would go around and collect these items and then my dad would come around in his truck and I would load the material.   When his truck was full, we would drive to Sno-King recycling in Lynnwood and sell them the papers, bottles, and cans.  I would pay Dad for his gas and I would be excited for my profit.  I did this through junior high and into high school.

I learned that I enjoyed speaking with people and I remember encouraging myself to go up to one more door to face the unknown-rejection or reception.  I also developed my memory skills while doing this and later when I would go around collecting sponsorships for the MS  Jump rope-a-thon or the MS Ski-a-thon, my friend Kyle would marvel at how I could go back to every house after the event having never written down the address.  I used to smile when that happened.

I grew up around and at Longacres Race Track in Renton, WA.  My middle name is Colt.  You could say that horses are in my blood.  As a young boy, I showed horses, worked at horse shows, and spent quite a few days on the “backside” of Longacres.  The backside is where the horses were stabled and where my dad, mom and step-dad worked.  While they worked I usually rode around the backside on stable ponies, played with my friends or spent time at the fence watching the horses work out and race.  I loved it and I still do.

In the summer between my junior and senior years of high school, I went to work with my dad at Longacres.  I began to learn how to groom horses.  I loved everything about the racetrack especially race days.  I loved having a “live shot” and going over to the frontside to see if we could win a race.  The hours were long, but there was a certain kind of contentment about the work.  Preparing a horse for a race was a lot like an actor getting ready for a production; racing the horse was showing the world how well you prepared or learning how well your competitors prepared.

Eventually I would go on to work at Safeway as a courtesy clerk, but became frustrated when my superiors liked my work, but would not and could not promote me to our union contract.  This never made sense to me and still does not.  I ended up working 5 summers at the racetrack racing horses at Longacres, Yakima Meadows, Exhibition Park (now Hastings Racetrack), Remington Park, Bay Meadows Race Course, and Emerald Downs.  I had so many interesting experiences.

After and sometimes during my racetrack excursions I signed up for the Amway business and worked different temporary jobs from bagging mattresses at Serta to nightstocking toys at Toys-R-Us.  I have cleaned lumber yards, driven a forklift, worked in a cannery, inventoried products, boxed jeans, sold food, phone systems, executive suites, employment services, and vacuums.  I have driven a class B truck, shuttled people to and from the airport, delivered paint to body shops, and dispatched. 

I have managed a bookstore, been a janitor, and helped in a mailroom.  I delivered rental cars, handled payroll for 400 people, hired, fired, handled HR, installed fixtures, crushed glass, moved furniture, and demoed houses.  I have worked for 100% commission, base+commission, pro-bono, by the hour, on salary, hourly plus commission, as a union employee, for a large corporation, mom and pop and for a church.  I have worked for public companies and private companies, on contract, and by the job.

My life is filled with interesting experiences and still I struggle with the elusive quality of happiness.  Yes, I have known happiness, though sometimes we do not correspond as much as I prefer.  I believe part of the reason is that I have hung back many times in my life.  I have a wonderful wife and three exceptional and beautiful children.  My wife stays home to homeschool our children and I earn the money.    I have never really earned a whole lot.  My best year is probably right around 35K gross. 

I have read my Bible and hundreds of books, magazine articles, newspaper columns, blogs, and I have heard motivational, inspirational, and biographical speeches.  Also, I have watched many shows, documentaries, and new programs.  So what.  Well, I think I am slowly starting to learn what is intuitive to most of us but has been buried so long by me.  This is that we are happiest when we are doing what we love and loving what we do.  This also has nothing to do with money or title or prestige.  Though, what we love to do may include all of these or none of them.

The recurring theme in every great story of a notable person is their passion and zeal for what they do.  Two people that come to mind are Mother Theresa and Donald Trump.  The contrasts are obvious, but to me the comparisons are equally so.  Leaving the argument of altruism aside and can only be agreed that both labor as a result of love.

So why am I a little more free today than I was yesterday, because I am getting closer to the honest answer of what I love to do and doing that.  I have watched my two daughters grow exceedingly in their confidence and flourish as they have pursued their desires of skating and horseback riding.  For me it is very obvious to spot what they love.  I have covered up what I love in the name of providing for family.  However, I believe that I will better provide for my family as I pursue what I love to do and to do that.  Besides, I’ll be happier and my family will be happier.

I love talking to people.  I love learning where they have come from, where they are going, and what interests them.  I love horses especially thoroughbreds.  I love racing horses.  I love to travel.  I love mission trips and disaster relief.  I love domestic and international travel.  I love business especially real estate and entrepreneurial ventures.  I love to read and I love architecture.  I love to see my wife and children pursue their dreams.  I love castles.  My favorite magazines are the Bloodhorse and Forbes.  I love writing and I love biographies.  I love to facilitate groups, to hike, and to enjoy the outdoors.

What does this mean to me?  I am not exactly sure.  I do know this, however.  I am going to go confidently in the direction of my dreams.  I will be motivated by love and not fear.  I will have faith that my dreams are more powerful than my fears.  I will get to the place that I will do what I love and love what I do.

One of the things that I love about the internet is that it is much more dynamic, responsive and speedy when it comes to news, trends and the like.  Many blogs and articles have already been written about Ray and I am thankful to have heard and read the story.

I have always wanted to live 123 years so I could celebrate 100 wedding anniversaries with my wife.  I was reminded again that it isn’t just living that provides the victory, but giving.  Here is a man that is giving through work and really more importantly through service.  He would probably be an amazing man to work with because he has so much life experience.  His words of wisdom are oft repeated but rarely followed, “keep your body active and your mind active.”

My assumption is that this gentleman doesn’t hold onto anger or bitterness for very long.  He knows he brings a contribution to the table and he feels it is his reasonable service to do so.  I am reminded of George Burns who puffed his cigar until a month and a half after his 100th birthday.  He was happy and contributed happiness to others.  He was able to forestall the effects of his cigars because of an active body and mind.  He gave an he received.

For me, I have spent the majority of my life trying to receive without giving.  I have noticed that most people operate in a similar mindset.  Certainly there are ways that I do serve and give and contribute; I could do so much more.  One of the reasons I was so sad when my Grandpa Joe passed away was because he gave so much to me throughout his life.  I truly believe that 20 more years with him would have been better.

This is true for all of us.  We were made in the likeness and image of God.  We don’t always acknowledge this yet it is true just the same. 

Last night as I was cleaning my portion of the messy basement I came across a 5×7 card that I had written on.  The heading of the card read, “What would I do or try if I knew I could not fail?”  Some of the answers on the card are still very close to my heart, though my actions have not lined up with my intentions.  I have always wanted the hope first before the faith.  In fact, hope can only come when I have faith first. 

I endeavor to trust more, to give more and to believe more.  I endeavor to be a contributor instead of a receiver. 

What are you going to contribute?  What would attempt or do if you knew you could not fail?

Matrimonium ad morganaticam means marriage with a morning gift.  It was a term applied (and may still be applied) in royal marriages.  Essentially if a king or ranking royal with a hereditary title or titles marries someone who is not a peer and inferior in rank then his or her progeny will not receive the titles or other designations that would normally accrue to them.  The new spouse would have the “morning gift” of being married to the royal and that is all.  An example of this would be Winston Churchill who descended from the Duke of Marlborough, but whose mother was an American.  Churchill was a commoner yet most of us would agree that he was not common at all.

In my life I have entered into churches, businesses, or friendships to be “married” to the ideal I had about the money or relationships or prestige I would receive.  Many times through my false expectations even the “morning gift” was no gift at all.  Thankfully I have been able to go back through some of these circumstances in my life and reevaluate them or myself with a healthier perspective.

When I was 20 years old, I became an Amway distributor.  I had met some financially successful people in the business and being broke was a financial goal from my existing financial situation.  I spent a lot of money of gas, books, tapes,  and meetings.  I didn’t spend so much on product (though I still have some ZOOM in my basement which we use).  In the spring of 1996 I left the business.  My morning gift was being affiliated with some of these successful people with zero monetary fruit in my life.

However, I learned a great deal, I met my wife, I still have close friends and acquaintances, I spent a lot of time with my dad, and I learned how to budget my money.  I also learned that I did not consistently and persistently do the things which were needed to be a viable and profitable Amway business person.

Learning this particular lesson was not something I was prepared to do quickly though.  I was a member of a large and influential church.  Eventually I became a staff member and was promoted twice going from a janitorial lead, to distribution assistant, to bookstore manager.  I was doing well in the eyes of others, but the work of the ministry was sucking the oysters right out of my shell.   To compound the issue, I never had relationship with the people I wanted to be known to be in fellowship (read: the senior pastor).  Once again even the morning gift was a trinket I disdained and discarded.

I am the one that let the work associated with ministry overtake me.  I wasn’t in the minsitry, but I was working for one.  I hated it because it didn’t line up with my gifts and talents though I was making it work. 

Finally there is my relationship with Christ.  He met me where I was at and I accepted His offering of forgiveness.  I made Him Lord or, at least, told myself I did.  My years of following Christ have closely resembled the roads I travelled on in rural Guatemala-many bumps, potholes, and slippery spots followed by amazing vistas, outlooks, picturesque stopping points.

However, He offered me many promises and following the analogy, many hereditary blessings such as:  “His yoke is easy and His burden is light; all of those heavy laden can come unto Him and be given rest.” “He gives peaceful sleep to those He loves.” “He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.”  “Only with my eye shall I see the reward of the wicked.”  “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.”  “With Him all things are possible to me.”  “I can be renewed in the spirit of my mind and know His good, pleasing, and perfect will for my life.”  “He came that I might have life and more abundantly.”  And so on….

I am the one though that took his lifetime gift and made it morganatic.  I am the one who was the common one.  I didn’t realize that He through His righteousness made me a joint heir and thus uncommon.

I choose today to trust God and take Him at His word.  I choose today to receive His lifetime gift and not just the Matrimonium ad morganaticam I received upon acceptance of His forgiveness for my sins.

Have an excellent day!

 However, it looked like this mountain-all 14,410′-was bowing down before the moon as a knight kneeling before the scepter of his king.  Interestingly, though, the moon was magnificently only reflecting the light of the sun.  I have thought about this and I find it ironic that we as humans sometimes worship or bow or even just reverence the things that are huge in our life and yet those things themselves are paying homage to something larger still that is merely reflecting other glory found elsewhere.

For example, we think mankind is so wonderful or that technology is so advanced and we exalt in our “excellence”.  However, we are merely reflecting light or absorbing light that comes from another source.  So often I aspire to sit as the moon did above this great mountain and feel proud or good about myself while ignorantly forgetting that at my very best I could be a good moon-incapable of producing my own light yet reflecting the light from a different Son, Jesus Christ.

 In the words of Steven Curtis Chapman, “…I am not home yet.”

And so I enter this great conversation with you….